Mail To Sis ;-)

Well,this one of the funnier mails I've written,

For those who don't know(which will be most i guess),My sis is currently doing her M.S in the U.S..and for quite some time,we hadn't chatted.Her name is Janani and yours truly's name is Saketh :~D.
I was bloody bored and decided to write her a mail and also ask her why she hasnt contacted for so long.Then,i thought about pulling her leg~~abusing her for not having contacted...and finally ended up sending this ..


Sub: URGENT : DUID India Requires Confirmation of Identity



This is to Miss M. Janani , Daughter of R.Indira and K.P.N.Murthy
enquiring about a certain sentient being going by the name of Saketh
(sa -as in "saw", keth as in the hindi "keth" for field),who alleges
to be your brother.

On thorough examination of your brother's recent doings,it has been
found that he has been in contact with a number of friends of his
frequently,even face-to-face.And also,less frequently,his room-mate.He
has also been in touch with friends of his old school etc etc. We even
checked back to such extents ,it has been found that he has been in
contact with the grand-grand-grand-grand son of the crow that had pee'
d on him in his erstwhile hometown Kalpakkam (The fourth crow in its
great line had taken part in the great South-North Migration) and also
its companion sidekick pigeon .But nowhere in his contacts does there
appear any "Janani" or any mention of a "sister".

As a consequence of the above, Saketh has filed a petition claiming
that his sister is dead,and since he is the closest surviving
relative,he should get immediate possession of all her material and
intellectual property,especially her I-Pod shuffle and any other
extravagant purchases she might have made in the U.S excluding any
vintage undergarments.

He even went so far as to give complete details,and it was he who
detailed us with this g-mail id saying its his sisters. he arrogantly
said "Mail all you wanna!!a billion mails of your's ain't gonna get no
reply"(before he collapsed into groans as he was then suffering from
acute pain in the ass triggered by his room-mate)

We mail you as we have serious doubts as to whether such a sister
exists(dead or alive).Thorough research even threw up that he had
talked(Take a glass of water.Drink it.Now have copious amounts of
whisky .You are in for a shock) to a few GIRLS in IIT-K.In case you
are ignorant of the fact,the last rare sighting of a female on campus
was when an innocent first-yearite had taken a wrong turn at the
crossings,to find a girl(all people on campus are trained to identify
one when they see one).Total number of sightings have numbered in the
few dozen last year.

If we have dug so deep as to reveal "girl" connections,its impossible
to not have mentioned any sister or "Janani"(nice name,i must say,we
could meet sometime..if u are alive,that is.maybe over a cup of
tea...i am tall,dark,handsome..).ahem..where was i?Ya...impossible as
even great-grandma's made their presence somewhere.

This brings us to have serious doubts about the validity of his statements.


1)If you are Alive,proceed to Step 3
2)If you are dead,proceed to...what the fuck,if u are dead,call your
local undertaker
3)If u are Janani,proceed to step 5
4)If you are not janani,proceed to step 5

5)Are you the sister of the afore-mentioned Saketh?

If u ARE,and you didn't lie and really are alive...please mail back
immediately. Else you could lose your case and be proclaimed dead in your
home country.And also be thusly confiscated of all your
possessions..bare(well,not exactly bare,your undergarments ll be
spared i guess)


You could also correspond regularly with us...it is astonishing how
you have maintained your distance so effectively!!!We would love to
make a case study of you!we also have among our number's people who
would love to distance themselves from their siblings(though majority
of them have a prob with elder sisters,sharp contrast to the case
here).
Here's to great times ahead.


Cheers,
Your Could-Be,
And Chief Resolver Of Utterly Irrational Disputes,
Skinhead Dudderhead

P.S-Think about the cup of tea...